Hey fam', I'm back! It's Shawn Barclay, here to share an experience I had, here in prison the other day. I hope it'll cause you to reevaluate your perception, both of so-called "bad things" that happen in your life, as well as the 'discipline of God', and realize that --IF YOU'RE A SAVED AND BAPTIZED,BELIEVING CHRIST-FOLLOWER-- perhaps, it could be the loving discipline of a loving Heavenly Father, reminding you of your Heavenly adoption into the family of God/Jesus, and let the experience spur you to swift Godly remorse and repentance, and reorienting your heart and mind toward Him. After all, He disciplines those whom are His, so if you're w/o discipline, you mustn't be His, and that's a sad and dangerous place to be, especially these days!
So, I have a very disrespectful,and difficult neighbor here in seg, on the Robertson Unit, in TDCJ,and while I am a christian (I renounced my bisexuality and gender fluidity, and rededicated my life to Jesus!), I am human and thus, fallible. So, I stumble much! But, I am striving to be more Christlike, and live according to His Will, and Word.
Anyway, he (my neighbor) and I were arguing b/c our personalities clash. He is a gang member (a lifestyle I used to think was cool, AS A YOUNG TEEN, and now I have zero respect for), and he said SOME STUPID MESS about putting it on his gang that he would do this or that nonsense, and I popped off some disrespectful words about his gang, and what they could go do, and some other things. I was wrong, and out of line, I know!
Anyway, I was watching Real Vida TV (the episode called: "A piece of Bread, a Ramen Noodle, a Graham Cracker, and a Ritz"; SEE ALSO: EPISODES: "A Glimpse @ the End Times"; and "The Storm Is Here: End Times 2"!), where they were partaking of Communion. I SO BADLY wanted to partake, but I could not w/o doing so unworthily, and bringing sickness and condemnation down upon me, b/c I was holding onto unforgiveness and resentment toward my neighbor, who also CLAIMS TO BE A BELIEVER (OF COURSE, SATAN IS A BELIEVER TOO)!
So instead, I wept bitter tears of shame and guilt(WHICH ARE NOT FROM GOD, BUT SATAN!), wanting to make peace w/my neighbor, and repent, but my STUPID PRIDE got in the way, and wouldn't let me! (PROVERBS 16:18 "PRIDE GOETH BEFORE DESTRUCTION")! I was awakened by my neighbor coming back from shower, calling me, and spraying my cell down W/URINE when I answered! I couldn't even get angry, b/c IMMEDIATELY, I was convicted of my PRIDE, and unwillingness to be the first to apologize and make peace, so I wept MORE bitter tears.
Needless to say, I swallowed my stupid PRIDE and made peace w/my neighbor AND GOD, and thanked God for His discipline. THEN, I went and partook of Communion!{:-) LESSON LEARNED!(SEE: JOB 5:17; PROVERBS 3:11-12; and Hebrews 12:4-6, PLEASE)!
SO NOW, MY NEIGHBOR IS PISSED @ ME B/C I WILL NOT PASS ANYTHING THAT IS DRUG RELATED, OR IS BEING USED TO MAKE A DRUG DEAL, INCLUDING WRITTEN NOTES, B/C THEY CAN CONTAIN DRUGS, AND ALSO NO TABLETS, B/C GUYS ARE PURCHASING OTHERS TABLETS W/ACCESS TO GAMES, ETC., AND ALSO USING THEM (VIA THE PHONE APP), TO SET UP CASH APPS FOR DRUG DEALS! HE IS THREATENING TO THROW FECES/URINE ON ME NOW, B/C I WON'T CONTRIBUTE TO HIS, OR ANYONE ELSE'S K2 ADDICTION, OR OTHER DRUGS, DUE TO MY CONVICTIONS! I'VE BEEN VERY VOCAL AGAINST DRUGS -ESPECIALLY K2- IN HERE. AND EVERYONE HATES ME, AND THINKS I AM A NARC, AND A SNITCH, JUST B/C I'VE BEEN VOCAL AGAINST THE DRUGS! NOW, WE'RE ON A MAJOR LOCKDOWN DUE TO A MULTITUDE OF DRUG RELATED HOMICIDES AND SUICIDES,WHICH IS UNACCEPTABLE!
SO,while my neighbor and I still aren't talking, @least it's for a good and Godly reason!
PLEASE,ANYONE READING THIS,WILL YOU PLEASE WRITE ME @:
Shawn Barclay #899733
Robertson Unit
P.O.Box 660400
Dallas,Texas 75226-0400
...IT'S TERRIBLY LONELY IN HERE!
Thank you and God Bless!
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